


let’s get the next start right, if this is the end

by chahakyn



Series: now i’m no longer alone (a 5, 6, 7 friendship series) [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Hargreeves' Tentacles | Bentacles, Character Death Fix, Gen, No Incest, Season/Series 01, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26567317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chahakyn/pseuds/chahakyn
Summary: “You’re very…small now,” Ben ventures, in an attempt to break the silence. Five bares his teeth.“Say that again and I’ll gut you with this knife.”“Oh, Five, your threats don’t scare me. I have to do taxes now; those are much more frightening.” Ben gives Five a pleasant smile before shuddering.-A re-imagining of S1E1, in which Ben is alive and he and Five and Vanya go out to dinner.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: now i’m no longer alone (a 5, 6, 7 friendship series) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900036
Comments: 21
Kudos: 191





	let’s get the next start right, if this is the end

**Author's Note:**

> the little excerpt in the summary popped into my mind and then haunted me ceaselessly until i churned this out
> 
> fic title from [ Don’t Look Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQGYUm1wtZA&ab_channel=PREP) by PREP

Five scrambles to his feet, eyes wide as he breathes in a cold air of the city. He looks around; he’s in the courtyard of the Academy with his siblings standing right in front of him. His _siblings_. He did it, he actually _did_ it—

“Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?”

Five’s brow furrows at Klaus’s words. Little? Last time he checked, he was a middle-aged man. Shorter than average, yes, but hardly enough to constitute the descriptor “little”.

Five gives his siblings a confused look before looking down. He takes in the bagginess of the once-fitted suit and the state of his body, the previously wrinkled and liver-spotted skin now smooth and pristine. He flexes his hand, watching in horror as delicate fingers with nary a scar on them respond to his gesture. Those are _his_ hands.

“ _Shit_ ,” Five says desperately, mind reeling as he looks back up at them. He was so close, the calculations must have been off—

“Five?”

He jolts, eyes widening as he sees Ben and Vanya step forward hesitantly. They look older now, tired and weary and so unlike how he remembers them.

Vanya’s hand comes to rest carefully on his shoulder as Ben breathes his name in disbelief, and Five feels almost dizzy at the touch. It’s been so long since they were last together, so long since he’s felt the familiar reassurance of both their presences, that he feels like he might actually break down, decades of fear and loneliness all bursting out.

But he can’t. There’s no time.

Five squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before pointedly stepping away. He nearly winces at how Vanya recoils and he wants to catch her hand, touch Ben’s shoulder and reassure them both, tell them that when they’ve averted the apocalypse, he will make sure he has all the time in the world for them.

But not right now. He can’t get distracted now.

“I need to eat something before you all start asking tedious questions.” Five takes a deep breath, nodding at everyone before marching away.

“Well, at least some things haven’t changed,” Diego mutters as they all mutely follow Five into kitchen, watching him dart about to grab various items. Vanya’s hand tightens on Ben’s arm as Five pulls out the peanut butter and marshmallows. Her eyes meet Ben’s with something akin to panic. Ben snakes his hand down to tangle their fingers together, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

“It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll explain,” Ben whispers.

He doesn’t.

The drumming of Diego’s fingers against the table grows more impatient, and Allison’s pointed sighs grow louder, but Five continues to make his sandwich, blithely ignoring their presence.

Ben exchanges a look with Allison before shaking his head.

“You’re very…small now,” Ben ventures in an attempt to break the silence. Five bares his teeth.

“Say that again and I’ll gut you with this knife.”

“Oh, Five, your threats don’t scare me. I have to do taxes now; those are much more frightening.” Ben gives Five a pleasant smile before shuddering.

“Why _are_ you so small?” Klaus says. Five puts down the jar, shooting Klaus a withering glare before methodically spreading peanut butter across the bread.

“I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance in time and this is was the version I got.” He wrinkles his nose.

Diego scoffs, shaking his head. “That makes no sense.”

“Well, it would if you were smarter,” Five says snidely, barely even flinching as Diego leaps out of his seat with murderous intent in his eyes. Luther smacks his hand against Diego’s chest, holding him back as they have a silent, furious conversation with their eyes.

“So that means…” Allison prompts, watching as both Luther and Diego slowly sit back down.

“That _means_ that I managed to get back from the future. Which is shit, by the way.” Five pauses, surveying the number of marshmallows on his sandwich before shrugging and dumping more on. “But that doesn’t matter right now.”

Five can feel Vanya watching him intently. He takes a careful bite of his sandwich before looking straight at her. She doesn’t look away, returning his gaze steadily.

“What matters is that the world’s ending in 7 days in a massive apocalypse and I’m here to help stop it.” Five glances away, giving them all a curt nod before strolling off, leaving his siblings gaping at him in shock.

“That’s it? That’s _all_ you have to say?” Allison shrieks after him.

“What else is there to say? Circle of life,” Five throws out, waving his hand before blinking to his bedroom.

He looks around, taking in the familiar room and the accompanying twinge of discomfort in his chest. Everything looks exactly how he remembers it all those years ago, and he feels immeasurably young looking at all. As if being back in his childhood bedroom and glimpsing the simpler mind of his younger self—with no idea of how the cruel the world could be—sweeps away everything he learned, who he’s become, in his 45 years alone.

Five shakes his head, throwing the closet open only to see a row of identical uniforms. He exhales harshly through his nose as he shoves the hangers aside, gaze sweeping the clothing for any semblance of variety.

 _Of course_ this would be all he could wear. The universe couldn’t have chosen a better way to spit on him in the face of his failure than to clothe him in the physical personification of his father’s decisions, to reduce Five from the man he’s become back to the boy he started out as, arrogant and confident beyond deserving.

“ _Shit_ ,” he hisses to himself, shoving the uniforms aside in frustration.

“Five?”

Five flinches, turning to see Vanya standing in the doorway.

“Vanya,” Five says carefully, stepping away from the closet. “And Ben,” he adds, seeing Ben step up beside her to lean against the doorframe.

“That’s us.” Vanya gives a nervous little laugh before stopping herself. “Everyone is downstairs, doing their own…thing. But Ben and I were thinking that the three of us should go out and eat. Y’know, catch up, celebrate.” She gives him a small, hesitant smile. Five tilts his head.

“Celebrate what? My return? Dad’s death? The impending apocalypse?”

“Meals can be very multi-purpose,” Ben says, tossing over a set of car keys that Five catches easily. “And we’ll let you pick, since you’re the oldest.”

The acknowledgement towards his seniority is most definitely Ben extending an olive branch for his earlier comment on Five’s size. Though, judging by the glint in Ben’s eyes, he’s also just buttering Five up in the hopes that he’ll be more willing to come along.

The corner of Five’s lip ticks up in amusement. He hardly needs to be coerced into sharing a meal with his favorite siblings. But they don’t need to know that.

“Thai. If that old place is still there.”

“It is,” Vanya says almost eagerly.

“Good, I’ll just get changed and we can go.” Five grabs a hanger, pulling out the old Umbrella Academy uniform with a sigh.

“That’s… jarring,” Ben says, nodding at it as Vanya gives a sympathetic wince.

“Yeah, don’t remind me,” Five says, grimacing.

\---

All things considered, Five didn’t think a reunion with his favorite siblings could be this… painfully awkward.

Ben keeps letting out nearly silent sighs, watching Five with a neutral expression on his face. Vanya mindlessly rearranges her silverware as her gaze darts back and forth between the table and Five’s left ear. And they both keep giving each other _looks_ —at the Academy, in the car, across the table at the restaurant—which is rather infuriating.

Five grits his teeth, patiently reminding himself that it’s been _decades_ since they last spoke. It’s a miracle that they’re even willing to talk to him at all. Sliding back into their neatly organized childhood dynamics is practically impossible given how much they’ve grown and how much the family dynamic has changed (though he will concede it was never stellar in the first place).

Maybe it’d be better off if they didn’t reconnect; it would be easier for them all.

Five dismisses the thought, brows furrowing. _Calm down_ , he reminds himself. He needs allies if he wants to stop the apocalypse. More importantly, he _needs_ his best friends, even if things have changed enough that the title is tenuous. Living most of his life without them was hard enough the first time around; he’d rather avoid a repeat performance.

Five chews the inside of his cheek, considering how to best tackle the situation when suddenly, Vanya surprises him (though, in hindsight, Five knows he should have expected this. Vanya was always the most unpredictable of the three of them, challenging their assumptions of her every chance she had).

As Ben looks up and thanks the waitress before asking for a refill on their drinks, Vanya expertly spears a few pieces of Ben’s chicken from under his nose. She catches Five staring and gives him a look, raising her brow as she daintily pops a piece into her mouth.

The familiar twinkle in her eyes he still remembers after so many years peeks through in her gaze, and suddenly, the tension in the air melts away in an instant. Five can feel the corner of his lips pulling into a helplessly affectionate smile as he nudges her foot under the table. She returns his smile shyly, knocking her foot against his.

“Are you two—" Ben looks down at his plate, blinking at the significantly fewer pieces of chicken before sighing. “Seriously?”

“Love you, Ben,” Vanya hums. Ben snorts, shaking his head before pointing his chopsticks at Five.

“You’re lucky your food was safe from _this_ thief,” Ben pauses to nudge Vanya’s shoulder, “while you were gone. Prepare yourself for never having a meal in peace again.”

Five’s heart clenches in his chest. What he wouldn’t have given to have his meals disturbed by Vanya or Ben or _anyone_ for the 45 years he spent alone in that wasteland of the future. But he prevents these words from spilling across his tongue, bottling them up with a lazy smile instead.

“I’m sure I can protect my meals a little more diligently than you.”

“Don’t mistake my indulgence for carelessness,” Ben says very seriously, lightly pinching Vanya’s thumb with his chopsticks as she attempts to sneak another piece.

“You’re always telling me to eat more,” Vanya huffs, amusement trickling into her voice despite her disappointed pout.

“Yeah, well, that’s because I care,” Ben says, eyeing Five’s nearly untouched food. “Which, speaking of, you need to eat more too, Five.”

“Yeah, sure, thanks _mom_ ,” Five drawls, rolling his eyes as he takes an uncomfortably large bite of rice and curry.

Ben raises a brow. “Were you raised by wolves in the future?”

“No. There was nothing in the future. Everything was dead.” Five looks carefully down at his plate as he chews, noting the heavy air that falls over them, disturbing the delicate balance they had been nursing. Five pauses for a moment before waving his hand dismissively. “And therefore, it was boring. I’d much rather hear about you and what you’ve been up to in my absence.”

And that, surprisingly, works. It’s a little slow, but Five manages to coax stories out of them with an attentive gaze and a few well-placed encouragements. He listens attentively as Vanya tells him of her orchestral career and her work in teaching children, delighted by her enthusiasm and immediately requesting to see her perform. Five leans forward in interest as Ben details his work as an editor at a local publishing house, snorting into his drink as Ben regales them with the most ridiculous storylines he’s had pitched to him.

Their conversations progress without pause throughout the entire evening, until their meals have been cleared away and they’re picking at a shared dessert of mango sticky rice, reluctant to finish and bring their time here to an end.

Five feels almost dazed with happiness, so caught up in the familiarity and comfort of their company that he _nearly_ misses the flicker of movement outside the now-empty restaurant.

But he doesn’t. His gaze carefully picks through the shuffle of bodies on the other side of the door. One man turns and a flash of moonlight illuminates the familiar shape of machine gun. _Damn_.

“I’m going to need you two to stay very, very calm.” Five’s gaze flicks up briefly as the bell above the door jingles cheerfully. Ben’s brow furrows but he hums in response, carefully lifting his spoon and tilting it enough for both him and Vanya to catch a glimpse of the armed men marching in. His eyes widen as Vanya’s gaze darts up to look at Five.

“Friends of yours?” she says quietly, taking a casual sip of her drink.

“You could say that, yes.” Five takes a bite of mango, deliberately avoiding the gaze of the man that marches up to their table, a heavy machine gun in his grip.

“Sir, ma’am.” The man nods at them. “Regrettably, we’re going to have to have to tear your friend away from your meal.”

“And why’s that?” Ben asks, looking up at the man before turning to Five. “What did you do?”

Five shrugs. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

The man hefts his gun up ever so slightly, training it on Five’s head as he speaks.

“You think I _want_ to do this? Go home with a kid’s death on my conscious?”

“Well, I wouldn’t worry about that,” Five says, looking at Vanya and Ben as he speaks. “You won’t be going home.”

Ben catches the twitch of Five’s fingers over the knife that came with his meal and instinctively grabs Vanya’s shoulder, pulling them both down beneath the table. They feel Five tug at the fabric of reality, warping away from them. A frantic, staccato gunfire follows, accompanied by loud cries of pain.

Ben peeks out from behind the booth seat, watching Five yank his tie around a man’s neck. In split-second decision, Ben lets a tentacle snake out from under his shirt. It shoots forward, twisting around another man’s ankle before giving a violent tug. The man goes sprawling to the floor, head cracking against the off-white linoleum.

Five glances down in surprise, letting out a bark of laughter before blinking away again. The gunfire continues, lessening in frequency as each second passes. And suddenly, it’s deathly silent, except for the sound of panting.

“Is this going to be a thing now?” Vanya murmurs from behind Ben’s shoulder, eyes wide. Five appears in front of them in a flash of blue, offering his hand.

“Most likely, yes.”

Ben staggers to his feet with Five’s help, wrinkling his nose at the familiar coppery smell that jolts him unpleasantly back to his time at the Umbrella Academy, before he left and struck out on his own. 12 years out of the crime-fighting business, and he can still definitively say that he _hates_ the scent of blood.

Ben’s gaze flicks to the side, checking on Vanya. She seems surprisingly even keeled, despite having never experienced a fight this close before.

“You’ve got some dangerous friends,” she says to Five, hesitantly nudging a body with her toe.

“You have no idea,” Five mutters before stooping down to pick up the knife sheathed in another man’s holster. He sits back down in their booth, quickly rolling up his sleeve and digging the tip of the knife into his forearm.

Vanya lets out a gasp. “Five, what the _hell_ —”

“Shut _up_ , “ Five grits out, pressing the knife deeper. “I’ll explain…later.”

They watch in horror as blood flows down Five’s arms in rivulets from the self-inflicted cut, Vanya wincing as they hear a pained grunt tear through Five’s clenched teeth. The blood pools on the table, soaking into their hastily discarded napkins.

Five suddenly lets out a triumphant noise, tossing the knife aside before digging out a small, blinking object out of his arm with his fingers.

“ _There_ you are,” Five murmurs, holding the tracker up to the light to observe it more closely.

“Is that a…tracker?”

“That it is.” Five drops it onto the floor, crushing it under his heel. He slowly rolls down his sleeve with a hiss, glancing up at Ben and Vanya. “Sorry for ruining the evening. I didn’t think they’d find me that quickly.”

“It’s fine,” Ben says, eyes glued to Five’s arm, blood already soaking through the fabric of his sleeve.

“I have a, uh, a first aid kit at my place if you want to go there?” Vanya volunteers cautiously. “It’s not far.”

“Much appreciated.” Five dimples at her, stepping over bodies without a second glance as he heads toward the door.

“I’ll drive,” Ben mutters, placing a gentle hand on Vanya’s elbow as he guides them around the bodies. Vanya makes an appreciative noise, sliding silently into the backseat of the car before Ben navigates them through the familiar route back to Vanya’s apartment.

The moment they step into her apartment, Vanya snaps into action. She disappears deeper into the apartment, emerging with a first aid kit and some clothing.

“If you could—”

“Yeah,” Ben finishes quickly, returning Vanya’s grateful look with a smile as he moves into the kitchen to make drinks.

Five frowns. “You don’t have to—”

“ _Five_ ,” Vanya says firmly enough that Five’s jaw shuts with an audible click. “Just let us take care of you, okay?”

“Okay,” Five says softly, and it’s like they’re thirteen all over again, sneaking into Vanya’s room after a mission without their requisite check-up from Grace; letting Vanya patch up their wounds, her nimble fingers dancing over bandages and gauze and disinfectant as expertly as they did over violin strings. It’s been nearly 2 decades, but the motions are familiar, and her hands are just as sure as they were years ago, unflinching in their precision despite Five’s winces and hisses of pain.

“There,” Vanya says after a bit, patting Five’s hand. “Change of clothes for you, if you’d like.”

Five hums in acknowledgement as Vanya packs up the kit and puts it away.

Ben turns, leaning against the counter as he waits for their drinks to steep, and observes Five. He looks softer now, curled up in an armchair in Vanya’s oversized sweatshirt, hair flopping loosely over his forehead. He looks less like a middle-aged man trapped in a teenager’s body now, and more like an actual teenager; young, exhausted, and uncertain.

It’s all very strange, but they’re getting used to it.

“Now, what was all that about?” Ben says as he hands mugs to each of them before settling on the couch next to Vanya.

“They were sent by my former employers, the Commission.” Five accepts a mug of coffee with a nod, letting out a pleased noise after he takes a sip. Ben watches as Vanya smiles into her tea; he knows she’s been saving that cannister of high-quality coffee beans for years, just in case Five ever came back.

“I’m assuming things didn’t end well between you two, then,” Vanya says to Five, cupping her mug between her hands.

“Not in the slightest.” Five smirks before his expression sobers. “They didn’t want me to stop the apocalypse. But I’m back, despite their best efforts, and I need your help.”

“We’re listening,” Ben says, gaze intent as he leans forward slightly.

Vanya nods in agreement. “Whatever you need, Five. We’ll do what we can.”

Five looks at both of them in turn, taking in their earnest expressions. He feels his lips stretching into the kind of genuine, appreciative smile that he hasn’t felt the need to gives in decades. God, he’s _missed_ them.

“I appreciate that. I really do.” He fishes for something his uniform pocket, pulling it out and extending it to them. Ben and Vanya lean closer, examining the glass eyeball sitting in Five’s palm.

“Now, here’s what I’ve got.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just want them to bond in canon and have good meals together. is that too much to ask? apparently yes
> 
> come find me on [ tumblr](https://shizuoi.tumblr.com/) if you want to talk more!


End file.
